Break Ups Are Hard

I have broken up with Weight Watchers.  I hate break ups. They make me sad.   But it is time for me to move on.  Weight Watchers was a great tool for me for 22 months.  It helped me learn portion control, good foods/bad foods.  The bad thing is that I was always hungry and always thinking about food.

I am a firm believer that if something is not working for you – or even if you feel like something is not working for you – than it may be worth trying something new.  So in my weight loss journey I mainly stuck with Weight Watchers.  I diligently recorded everything I ate.  I counted my points and recorded them on the Weight Watcher on-line e-tools.  I soon realized  that the Weight Watcher e-tools was not user friendly.  And everything that you recorded was deleted after 2 months.  Through my frustration with Weight Watcher e-tools I found a very friendly ap that is FREE.  My Fitness Pal.  I plug my foods in that I eat and it records my calories.  My activities are also recorded through my Map My Run ap.   And I can look back months ago as to what I ate and all the information is still there.  And again did I mention that this ap is FREE!!!

In the past several months I have tried to include other “diets” into my weight loss journey.  Back in January I attempted  the 30 day Paleo Challenge.  I found that it was extremely restrictive.  I couldn’t sustain that restrictive eating.  So back to Weight Watcher’s I went.  Keep in mind that every time I did something other than Weight Watcher’s, I never missed a Weight Watcher meeting.  I liked the group of people and definitely loved my group leader.

And the closer I got to my goal weight, the slower the weight loss became.  I started to get discouraged.  So I decided to try South Beach for a couple of weeks.  I got closer to my goal weight with that program.  I loved the low carbs but still was not convinced that this was the path I wanted to continue on.

Then came Chris Powell and carb cycling.  I bought the Vemma Bode supplement products that Chris Powell endorses.  I loved the Chris Powell protein powder.  I tolerated the protein drink  for my afternoon protein snack.  I definitely did not like the colon cleanse (which I definitely will never attempt again).  And it did not do the cleansing it was suppose to do.    After several weeks of doing this program the carb cycling got confusing.  One day you eat low carbs and then on another day you eat high carbs.  It got confusing when I tried to plan my meals.  I would have a nice dinner planned out that would include a carb such as a sweet potato and then realized it was a low carb day and had to readjust the menu. I lost a couple of more pounds which got me very close to my goal weight but decided that carb cycling was not a sustainable lifestyle.

By trying all of these different “diets” I finally reached my goal weight and then I started to get very nervous.  How was I going to eat now?  How was I going to live the rest of my life and not gain any weight back.  I could continue counting calories but I wanted to be a normal person.  Normal thin people don’t count calories.  I could continue with Weight Watcher’s but tired of the meetings and the feared weekly weigh ins.  And honestly while on Weight Watchers, I felt hungry all the time.  So I have chosen a different path.

I got the book, The Calorie Myth by Jonathan Bailor.  It has changed my life and the way I look at food.  It is definitely a low carb way of eating but I am eating the foods that I love.  The basis of the book is eating Non Starchy Vegetables, protein which includes a wide variety of meats and fish. Whole fats that include REAL BUTTER, nuts, avocado’s and whole cream. Dairy includes non-fat Greek yogurt that I absolutely love.  Fruits are also included.  I got to tell you that for the past several weeks I have been loving this way of eating.

What I have found through my weight loss journey is what foods I love to eat and foods that I can live without.   I love all the foods recommended on The Calorie Myth.  I am never hungry.  I eat three meals a day that include a protein and vegetables.  I eat non-fat Greek Yogurt with a fruit for my snack.  I have found that the foods that are not included in my new way of eating, I can live without.  I can live without sugar, starch and wheat.  I love all the protein and vegetable and fats that I am eating.  I feel great and am actually starting to look pretty good.

So Weight Watchers I am sorry, I will no longer be having you in my life.  I am breaking up with you.  Thanks for all that you have given me but I am moving on to a healthier more sustainable lifestyle.

Word Choices

I have been thinking a lot lately on certain word choices.   “I WILL”.  “I CAN’T”. “I WON’T”.  So let’s think about those words.  And I will take them in reverse order.

“I WON’T”.  Now anyone that knows me knows that I am a scaredy cat.  I am afraid of many things.  You might say I am paranoid.  I fear for my safety and I fear for everyone I love’s safety.   So I take precautions ALL THE TIME.  I won’t ride my bike without a helmet.  I will not get in a car without wearing a seat belt.  I won’t bungee jump off of a cliff nor will I parachute out of an airplane.  I will not dive off of a cliff nor will I go in a hot air balloon.  I can do all of these things.  I just WON’T.

Now I CAN’T be an WNBA Basketball player.  It is not because of lack of desire – it is because I CAN’T.  I have no basketball skills nor the height.  I CAN’T be a supermodel not because I don’t want to but more because I am 5 foot 3 inches and supermodels are a bit taller and a bit younger. I CAN’T be an engineer, lawyer or doctor not because I am not smart – I am just not smart in engineering, doctor or lawyer skills.  I honestly CAN’T do any of these things not that I don’t want to.  I just CAN’T.

What drives me nuts are excuses.  I hate it at my Weight Watcher meetings when I hear someone whining about how they CAN’T stay away from cookies.  And our fearless Weight Watcher leader suggests to get the cookies out of the house.  And the whining person says “I CAN’T because my son will have a fit.  He likes my cookies”.  So really this whining person is saying she WON’T give up her cookies.  She can get rid of her cookies but she is using her son as an excuse to eat the cookies.  Can we call a spade a spade here?  You like cookies and ‘WON’T”  make any changes to help yourself not eat them.  So wouldn’t it be better just to say – I like my cookies and I WON’T change.

Another person was whining about how she could not find the time to get in exercise.  I truly understand the time crunch.   Jillian Michaels had a great come back to that excuse.  She said if you had cancer and had to go have chemo for an hour a day – you would find the time.  Why is being good to yourself and your health not as important?  So this person is saying “I WON’T” exercise.  It is not because she couldn’t.  She just chose not to.

“I WILL” is one of my favorite phrases.  I will be the best person I can be.  I will try harder.  I will finish.   I will continue my weight loss journey.  I will strive harder.  I will exercise.  I will exercise harder.  I will keep a food diary.  I will eat healthy foods.  I will drink water and green tea until I float away.  I will be good to myself. I will eat healthy foods.  I will enjoy my life.  I will be thankful for all that I have achieved.  Does it matter if I am perfect in everything?  Absolutely not!

I am still suffering from my bone spur on my achilles tendon so I CAN’T run. (Doctor’s orders).  My long walks are limited but I CAN walk on a limited basis.  But what I have been doing is lifting weights and enjoying it.  I have been bike riding and swimming.  I CAN DO THIS!  I have been eating super healthy.  I have cut all white starches and sugar out of my diet.   Have I cut them out completely?  On a very rare occasion I will eat a starch but that will not undo all the the work I have achieved.  I WILL DO THIS!  And I WON’T  give up.  This is my life long journey and I am loving this journey.

 

Knowledge is Power

books wheat belly  chris powell

Ask my husband.  He will tell you how many “diet” books I have on my I-Pad and Kindle.  I am reading a “diet” book ALL THE TIME.  I wake up and head down stairs to my favorite spot on the couch with a cup of coffee and read.  I go to bed reading my latest “diet” book download.   I am a true believer that knowledge is power.

I am amazed as to how many good books are out there about weight loss and healthy living.  And it is so easy with my I-Pad and Kindle to browse the “store”, download a sample and if I like the book – purchase it.  It is so much easier to download a book than go to the library (which I never do) or go to the book store to find out that the book I wanted is either not in stock or sold out.

I love my “diet” books.  I refer to them all the time.  Every book has a slightly different outlook on “dieting”.  A lot of the books all say the same thing – but just in a slightly different way.  It can get confusing.  Should I carb cycle with Chris Powell or eat nothing but lean meats and vegetables like the cave men with “The Paleo Coach”?  “150 Pound Gone Forever” is a delightful book of a women’s weight loss journey based on Fat Percentage.  She lost her weight by measuring her fat intake which was no more than 30% of her total calories.  Then there is “The Calorie Myth” that swears fat is good for you and quit counting calories.  It is grains that are bad for you.  “Wheat Belly”  also states that grains will make you sick and give you a fat stomach.  Stop – let me get off the spinning wheel.  Who am I to believe?  Which plan am I to follow?

With every book I read, I learn something new.  Yes it can and does get confusing.  But I get bored very easily.  So it is actually pleasurable for me to see what theories are out there for weight loss.  I do try new things.  I am really tired of not eating fat.  And limiting my fat intake to 2 teaspoons of olive oil a day with Weight Watchers is getting quite boring.  I hate fat free cheese.  It tastes like cardboard.  So when I read Jonathan Bailor’s book “The Calorie Myth”, I was elated to learn that fats are good for you.  And fats are not the culprit for making us fat.  But you just have to learn what are good fats and what are bad fats.

My weight loss is a lifetime journey.  I will be doing this for the rest of my life.  I don’t think I will ever be someone who just never thinks about her weight or never thinks about what she eats.  I think about my weight and what goes in my mouth ALL DAY LONG.   And if I am going to keep the 64 pounds off that has taken me years to lose, I have to be in control of my mind and my behaviors.  And the knowledge that I have learned from my beloved books will always help me do this.

 

 

I’ve Reached My Goal Weight

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Weight – 149 pounds

So what is a goal weight?  For me it was the highest weight I could get by with so I could quit paying for meetings at Weight Watchers.  Weight Watchers set my goal at 141.  At the rate I was going with my slow weight loss, I knew that I would be paying for meetings for at least another year.  So with a doctor’s note I set my own goal weight.  I chose 150 pounds.  I thought that a loss of 50 pounds sounded better than 48 or 49.  I like round numbers.

I can now go to my Weight Watcher meetings for free.  It is a very liberating feeling.  However, you need to be within 2 pounds of your goal weight to go for free.  Ok.  That keeps one accountable.  But then I got to thinking about – what if I have a bad week and I gain weight ?  Then I will need to pay again.  And with E-Tools (Weight Watchers on-line tools) you have to pay over $40 per month.  I really wanted to keep my E-Tools so I got another doctor’s note for 155 pounds – just in case.  I have not needed to use that note.  And I hope I will not have to.

Now you might be thinking I am a cheap skate.  Maybe.  But $40 plus dollars a month every month does add up.  I am at a point in my weight loss journey that Weight Watchers is no longer doing it for me.  I am looking for better and healthier ways of eating.  Blasphemy!  Yes I said it.  I am not 100% sold any more on Weight Watchers.  The program was great for me.  It taught me how to eat again.  I learned nutrition.  I learned portion control.  And I had a great support group.

I will continue to go to the meetings.  I really like my group leader Bonnie.  She is a great speaker.  And there are so many great topics that are talked about.  I still have bad behaviors that I know I will have to be in control of for the rest of my life.  Like diving head first into an appetizer and dessert tray.  I have only done that a few times but that is one behavior that needs to be kept in check.   I do like the support of the group.  It is comforting to know that I am not the only person with uncontrollable behaviors.  And I do learn from everyone there.

What I have quit doing is counting calories and counting points.  Those tasks did keep my accountable during my journey.  But for now it is not serving any purpose.  I no longer journal what I am eating.  I am very aware of the good foods and the bad foods I am eating.  For right now I am concentrating on eating lean meats, fish, a ton of vegetables (I have fallen in love with spinach and kale), limited fruits and healthy fats.  I have taken sugar and grains totally out of my diet.  I eat as much as I want and do eat when I am hungry.  I decided I am not a 3 meal a day person.  I am more of a 5 times a day kind of gal.

I am loving my new look.  And I feel great.  But this is definitely not the end of my journey.  Maintaining one’s weight is extremely difficult.  I have seen so many people reach their goal to only gain all their weight back.  I am determined that I will not be one of those statistics.

So my journey has not ended.  It is just the beginning.  I am just not continuing my journey as an obese person but a normal person.  Being at my goal weight is a great feeling.  But my life long journey will continue.

 

Medifast

I wanted to give a shout out to a friend of mine that has lost a ton of weight.  Pam Bredenkamp has been on her weight loss journey for two years.  She chose to do the Take Shape for Life approach with Medifast and has been a great inspiration to me and my weight loss journey.  I had a great conversation with Pam a few weeks ago and I wanted to share her weight loss approach.

Pam has lost 220 pounds and is doing amazing and looks absolutely fabulous.  She has become a Take Shape for Life Coach and is a true inspiration.  At our meeting, she explained the program how she would eat 5 Medifast meals and 1 lean and green meal per day.  She said it was the easiest thing she has ever done.  She said with Medifast there was never any question as to what to eat for the day.  It was mindless.  She had her meals at her fingertips.  They are easy to prepare.  The food is tasty.  And she found the program to be sustainable.  I met with her for lunch on several occasions and she would have her lean and green meal which included a lean meat and vegetables.

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She gave me a packet of information that outlined the program.  I found the program not to be too expensive for what you got.  When you think about your weekly grocery bill and daily eating out, Medifast is actually a bargain.

I also found that Medifast has a great web site.  It navigates very easily and is very informative.  I also love how the program Take Shape for Life is a complete program helping you lead a healthier lifestyle.  Medifast does not just have you buy their products and leave you alone.  You get a health coach that has gone through the process and helps you every step of the way.  I want to share Pam’s website with you pamb.tsfl.com/explore.   If anyone is looking for a weight loss program and wants someone who is kind, nice, funny, genuine and honest to be your coach, please check Pam’s site out.  She will help you out every step of the way.

I also found the book that Medifast endorses “Optimal Health” by Dr. Wayne Scott Andersen is the best weight loss book I have ever read.  And I guarantee you that I have a full library of weight loss books.  I encourage every one to read this book.  Dr. Wayne incorporates four components of Optimal Health and weight loss.   Healthy Eating, Healthy Motion, Healthy Sleep and Healthy Mind.  Optimal health is not just about weigh loss.  It is all about leading a healthy lifestyle.

I have another friend, Lisa Stephenson, who just became a Health Coach.  She has been a life time Weight Watcher and has maintained her weight most of her life.  She chose to lose over 10 pounds with Medifast.  She looks and feels great.  Check out Lisa’s Take Shape for Life web site, I will share it with you. Lisa also shares so much on her Facebook page where you can connect with her.

I am really proud of these two women.  It really does not matter what weight loss program you use.  What one needs to decide is what one needs to to do to get healthy.  Medifast may or may not be for you.  Weight Watchers may or may not be for you.  My suggestion is do your research, choose to be healthy and find a program that is sustainable and fits into your lifestyle.

 

 

 

Baby Steps

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On my Weight Watcher journey I have lost very slowly but very steadily.  In 19 months I have lost 45 pounds which averages out to .592 pounds per week.   I still have 5 more pounds until I reach my Weight Watcher goal.  I have been at this weight for several weeks.  I may be at the ultimate and loathsome plateau.  But I am not a quitter.  I am a fighter.  I really want to lose more weight.  Baby steps.

The baby steps and the slow weight loss can be discouraging.  None of my clothes fit me.  They are all too big.  This is a great problem to have.  I really do not want to invest in new clothes until I hit my ultimate goal.  I went shopping the other day and again got so overwhelmed with all the choices that I walked out of the store.  In my plumper days things were so easy.  I had one style. Frumpy.  I went into a store, tried one item on, and if it fit, I purchased three of the same items – just in different colors.

Back to what I really wanted to share with you today.   I am still counting calories.  I keep within 1200 calories per day.  And on some days I go up to 1600 calories a day.  I have stepped up my cardio.  This past week I ran 3 plus miles on 5 days and walked 3 miles one day.  But I have decided that I needed to shake things up a bit.   I am trying something new.  I am excited about my new weight loss journey.  Stay tuned for tomorrow’s blog.

Five More Pounds

I am five pounds from my goal weight.  I talked with my doctor and he felt that 151 pounds would be a healthy weight.  Weight Watchers set my goal weight at 141 which was on the high side, according to their calculations.  Last October, I realized that this journey was going to take forever and I was getting tired of paying the $40 a month for the meetings.  I wanted to get my Lifetime status back so I could go to the meetings for free.  So I asked my doctor to write a note saying he approved that 151 was a good weight for me.  He asked me why 151?  I said I wanted to lose at least 50 pounds on this journey.

At my weigh in this week I lost 1.4 pounds which put me within 5 pounds of my goal.  Which brings up a big question.  What am I going to do when I reach my goal.  I was listening to Charles D’Angelo the other day on the radio.  He is the St. Louis weight loss guru.  Charles was interviewing a prospective client and asked him “what are you going to do when you reach your goal?”  The prospective client replied “I am going to go out and eat the biggest pizza I can find.”  Charles told the man that he would not take him on as a client because with that mind set he was sure to gain all the weight back.

That made me think about what am I going to do when I hit my goal weight.  I do think about foods I would enjoy eating again.  Ted Drews sounds glorious and I would like to go to PI and eat pizza instead of a salad.  But I am very afraid of gaining back my weight.  So I do have a plan.  I will indulge.  But only very little.  This journey is for the rest of my life.  And I do not want to go through my life not enjoying some favorite foods.  But I do know I would rather eat PI pizza than Dominos.  So I will save my pizza eating for when I go out and not order in.  I would rather eat Ted Drews ice cream rather than Breyers.  So when we make a trip to Ted Drews I will indulge.  But what I can do is not eat a whole pizza.  I can have a slice of pizza with a salad.  And I can have a mini concrete rather than a regular or large.

My taste buds have changed.  I really like eating clean.  I have given up processed foods.  I don’t eat anything that is white except cauliflower.  I eat very little grains. Which I am looking forward to incorporating back into my diet.  I would like to experiment with quinoa and other grains.  I never seem to get tired of eating lean meats and fresh vegetables.  I love fruit.  But for now trying to get the last few pounds off, I have decided to eat only one fruit per day.

I also have gotten back into my exercise routine.  I go to Dave Reddy’s boot camp twice a week.  I go for my three mile walks the other days.  I do take one day off.  I am looking forward to running again.  I took a break from that with the bad weather.  We do have a wonderful treadmill which collects a lot of dust.  I would much rather be outside or walk in a mall than get on that treadmill.  I feel like a hamster in a cage on that treadmill.

I do know one thing, when I reach my goal I am going to buy a jean jacket and some new summer clothes.  All of my summer clothes are huge on me and I am in need of a new wardrobe.  I am looking forward to getting a cute bathing suit, one that does not cover my whole body.  So instead of focusing on what I can eat again, I am focusing on what I can wear again.  It is a great feeling.

Vestibular Neuritis

I have finally been diagnosed.  I have Vestibular Neuritis which is a “disorder that affects the nerve of the inner ear called the vestibulocochlear nerve. This nerve sends balance and head position information from the inner ear to the brain. When this nerve becomes swollen (inflamed), it disrupts the way the information would normally be interpreted by the brain”.  I got that explanation right off of the internet.

But here is what my doctor told me.  I have a virus that affects the nerve from the inner ear to the brain causing symptoms of vertigo, dizziness, balance difficulties, nausea and fatigue.  Exactly 3 weeks ago I woke up and started to get ready to go to my Friday boot camp with Dave Reddy.    But I was feeling a bit unsteady and not sure if I was coming down with something.  I just didn’t feel right.  So I decided to take a day off from working out.

I went to work and was able to photograph 10 senior basketball players from DeSmet Jesuit High School for their annual coaches gift.  My balance was off but I was able to complete the shoot.  I went home and rested on the couch and started to feel better.  The next day I went to Chicago on Amtrak and was still feeling off.  A bit dizzy.  I got worse in Chicago and could not take the train home, so my wonderful husband drove from St. Louis to pick me up.

Fast forward to today, three weeks later, several doctors visits, doctor’s evaluations and an MRI. Yesterday I had a VNG test.  And I was finally diagnosed with this virus.  I am so relieved that I finally found out what I had.  But the most interesting thing about this illness is that the more active one is and the more exercise one does the sooner the illness goes away.  I was so excited to here that because for three weeks I have done nothing.  I did go out for a walk at Fenton Park two weeks ago but that is the only exercise I have had in three weeks.  So today I will be working out and I am excited to do so.

But the funny thing about these past few weeks is how my imagination played havoc with my mind.  Of course I was sure something was wrong when my symptoms did not go away after 1 week.  And I was sure it was a tumor of some sort in my brain when my symptoms did not go away after two weeks.  When the ENT doctor set me up for the MRI, I really was afraid to ask her what they were looking for.  She was nice and said “we want to rule out anything that may be going on in the brain.”  And that answer was good enough for me. I also was assured I was not showing any neurological signs of anything serious.  But I still had that nagging bad feeling in the back of my mind.

I tried to stay off of the internet to search what I might have.  But my curiosity got the better of me.   And what I found out scared the bejesus out of me.  I was preparing for the worst.

So when preparing for the worst I started to think.  Heck, I should just have an Imo’s Supreme pizza since I am preparing for the worst.  I may not be able to eat Ted Drews because I will be to ill, so I better get some now.  I kept thinking about what I have not eaten in one and a half years and how I might enjoy something crazy fattening indulgences.

But the more I thought about it, the more I decided that whatever illness I had, those foods would only make me feel worse in the long run.  I love how my body feels now.  And I don’t mind looking at my body anymore.  I decided I did not want to sabotage my eating with some crazy indulgences.   So for the past three weeks I have been eating very healthy and sticking to my 26 Weight Watcher points per day.

But last night I was craving – and I mean craving – ice cream.  Like Ben and Jerry’s.  I wanted my husband to go and get it for me.  He said he would go if I went with him.  But I was so cozy sitting by the fireplace I did not want to go into the cold.  So I got my greek yogurt and frozen strawberries and a banana and stirred it all together.  It was delicious and it took care of that ice cream craving.  It was such a healthy dessert.

I am getting better and looking forward to being 100% better.  Every day I can tell, the symptoms are subsiding.  I start physical therapy on Monday and I am excited to learn the exercises that will redirect my brain to compensate for the damage done to that nerve.  And the most amazing thing about this illness is that activity and exercise will make the symptoms go away quicker.  So watch out world, this girl is going to rock the gym.

The Scale Challenge

I have been so busy these past few weeks, I had to put my blog on the back burner.  I have missed sharing my highs and lows of my weight loss journey.  But life has gotten in the way.  I have been busy at work, which is a very good thing.   I also made a trip to Evanston, Illinois to visit my family.  I always love visiting with my family and this visit was an extra special one for me.

So to let you all know about how I did on my staying off the scale challenge – I failed.  I could not stay away.   I very rarely fail at challenges.  But this challenge hands down got the better of me.  I love my scale at times and sometimes I hate my scale.   But one thing I decided is that  it keeps me in check.  It makes me accountable for what I put in my mouth.  It is a tool and only a tool, just like my measuring cups, food scale and daily points tracker.

Before I went to Evanston, I got on the scale.  The number was the same number it has been for a month.  Oh well.  I had been so good with my eating throughout January.  And my weight would go down a pound and up a pound.  It just had not been going down consistently.  I will admit with the weather being so bad, I did not work out as much as I had been in the past.  So that could be the reason for the no weight loss in January.

Every time I go see my family, it is like a free for all for me.  I love my brothers cooking.  And I eat things that I normally do not eat.  My sister in law had a bowl of chocolate covered cranberries sitting in all its glory on her table.  How dangerous for me to have a bowl of goodies right within my reach.  I tried hard to resist it.  But when that sweet tooth kicked in I found myself reaching for them.  There is so much truth to the saying “out of sight out of mind.”

But I was determined this time not to come back from my family visit to see a higher number on the scale.  And we all ate very healthy.  We ate plenty of fruits, vegetables and lean meats.  I cooked one evening preparing roasted chicken with roasted potatoes and vegetables.  We had a wonderful salad to round out the meal.  And for dessert we enjoyed sorbet.  And the key to eating the sorbet was eating one serving which is a very small half cup.

I did not weigh myself for almost 5 days.  Because one thing I have learned is that there are only two scales that I can count on.  My Withings Scale and my Weight Watcher meeting scale.  These scales are very consistent.  I trust them.  And I weigh myself wearing the same thing and at the same time of day.

When I came back from my visit, I hopped on the scale and I had lost one pound.  I was elated.  I had been very good with my eating.  But when you are visiting people you are really at the mercy of what they are eating.  I just made sure that I kept track of my points.  Unfortunately, I did nothing in the way of exercise.  There was three feet of snow on the ground in Evanston and I used that as a good excuse to not get my walk in.  Excuses-excuses.

So for today, I am looking at my scale not as a demon nor as a friend.  I am looking at the scale as only a tool.

The Glorious Scale

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The scale.  It can be your best friend or your worst enemy.  I have my scale right next to my kitchen, sitting in all its glory. I see it every morning.  And every morning, I look at it, say a little prayer and hop on it.  And then whatever number I see on the scale sets the tone for the rest of the day.  Some days I am happy, some days I am sad and on most days I am just frustrated.

When I hop on my Withings scale, the number climbs until it hits your actual weight.  The first number is pretty cool.  It is several pounds lower than your actual weight but just looking at that number is glorious.  And then the number starts to climb, slowly, slowly, “please, oh please stop” and then it stops.  Sometimes it stops on a number I am pleased with.  And then I know my day will be great.  But when it stops on a number I am not so happy about, my mood is set for the day.  Sad, confused and frustrated.

Our weight fluctuates on a daily basis.  It goes up, goes down, and sometimes stays the same.  Our bodies are mysterious.  Some days our bodies may retain water causing weight gain.  Sometimes our bodies just want to play with our minds and the weight just stays the same.  NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO!  And some days one may have eaten the biggest, fattest, greasiest, sweetest, hugest meal – and several of them – and your body will show a weight loss.  Go figure.

This week at my Weight Watcher meeting, my leader Bonnie, gave us a challenge.  Stay off the scale.  She explained how the scale is a good indicator but when weighing every day it can be a detriment to our weight loss.  Weighing yourself every day can play with your mind.  She said that weighing just once a week was best while trying to lose weight.  We should just weigh in at our Weight Watcher meeting.  She asked who wanted to take the challenge to stay off the scale for one week.

So Bonnie, was looking directly at me.  “Lisa, do you think you can stay off the scale for one week?”  I looked her straight in the eye.  I am always up for a challenge.  For crying out loud, I ran a 6 mile race as a challenge, I attempted the 30 Whole Paleo Challenge, I gave up wine for 3 and a half weeks – not quite making it to four weeks – which was a real challenge.  So I looked Bonnie and said “yes”.  Piece of cake.  “I will stay off the scale for one week.”

And I will be honest, this has been one of my hardest challenges.  Yesterday was the first day of the challenge.  I woke up at my regular time, went to the kitchen to make my coffee and there it was.  I turned the corner and saw my scale.  I thought about the challenge.  I stood frozen looking at that glorious piece of equipment.  I have been so good with my eating.  Basically, perfect.  “Ok, I will hop on the scale just this once and I will start the challenge tomorrow.”  But I am so good at challenges.  Once I make my mind up to do something, I usually succeed – no matter how hard it is.  I will stay off the scale.  I will succeed at this challenge.

But my scale in all its glory was calling me to it.  It was like the bottle of wine that calls my name every evening.  “Drink me, drink me.”  And I say to the bottle of wine.  “I will drink you – just not right now.”  And then I grab a glass of Diet Tonic Water.  The scale is like a drug to me.  I have never used drugs so I am really not quite sure what drug addicts feel but the scale is so powerful.  I am so drawn to it.  It has a power over me.

I suggested to my husband that I put it away.  I wanted to hide it.  But he said “just don’t get on it”.  That is like telling me while he is pouring a glass of wine for himself, just don’t be tempted while I am enjoying this glass of sweet nectar in front of you.  Or when he asks me to get him cookies every evening after dinner never thinking that I would be tempted to eat one.  But actually those things really don’t bother me.  When I am on a mission, I can really walk away from temptation. But for some reason I am really having difficulty walking away from the scale.

So, yesterday was the first day of the challenge.  And the devil was calling my name.  It was saying  “just hop on, just this once.  You will feel so much better.”  I succumbed.  I was weak.  I got on the scale saying “just for today and tomorrow I will put it away.”  So I hopped on the scale, in all my weakness, praying for the ultimate weight loss.  The number started out wonderful and I had that high, the feeling was glorious for that one moment.  And then the  number started climbing, climbing and then it stopped.  The high immediately left.  The number was the same number it has been for a month.  I stepped off the scale and immediately  was depressed.  My quick high left me very low.

Enough!  I am tired of the highs and lows.  I am tired of being addicted to this scale.  I am tired of the devil.  I am putting the scale away.  I am going to put it in a place where it will be difficult to reach and put out again.   I will succeed at this challenge – one day late – but I will succeed.  So glorious scale I bid you adieu – I will see you again – but for today, I am walking away.