Baby Steps


On my Weight Watcher journey I have lost very slowly but very steadily.  In 19 months I have lost 45 pounds which averages out to .592 pounds per week.   I still have 5 more pounds until I reach my Weight Watcher goal.  I have been at this weight for several weeks.  I may be at the ultimate and loathsome plateau.  But I am not a quitter.  I am a fighter.  I really want to lose more weight.  Baby steps.

The baby steps and the slow weight loss can be discouraging.  None of my clothes fit me.  They are all too big.  This is a great problem to have.  I really do not want to invest in new clothes until I hit my ultimate goal.  I went shopping the other day and again got so overwhelmed with all the choices that I walked out of the store.  In my plumper days things were so easy.  I had one style. Frumpy.  I went into a store, tried one item on, and if it fit, I purchased three of the same items – just in different colors.

Back to what I really wanted to share with you today.   I am still counting calories.  I keep within 1200 calories per day.  And on some days I go up to 1600 calories a day.  I have stepped up my cardio.  This past week I ran 3 plus miles on 5 days and walked 3 miles one day.  But I have decided that I needed to shake things up a bit.   I am trying something new.  I am excited about my new weight loss journey.  Stay tuned for tomorrow’s blog.

Sam’s Club

I am not a great shopper.  I really do not like to shop at all.  But there is something about Sam’s Club I like.  I actually enjoy shopping at Sam’s Club.  There is so much to see and buy.  You can buy absolutely everything you want or need at this massive warehouse.  As long as you need a huge quantity of food or items you are good to go.

Sunday is usually our food shopping day.  Usually, John and I go together.  But today he was busy with bills, laundry and football.  I also new that I wanted to wander around Sam’s.  I needed a winter wool coat.  I had a client come in the other day and I loved the coat she was wearing.  She told me she got hers at  Sam’s Club.  And John has a very low tolerance for shopping.  He is a get what you came for kind of guy and not let’s look around type of person.  So today I went food shopping by myself and really enjoyed it.

When I arrived at Sam’s Club, I went straight to the clothing section and found the coat I was looking for.  Since I have around 20 more pounds to lose I did not want to make a huge investment in a wool coat.  So I found the exact same coat as my client and it only cost me $50.  If it lasts one season (because I am hoping next season it will be too big on me) it will definitely be a good buy.

And then I started my food shopping.  Did you know that you can wander through Sam’s and get a full meal for free?  There were so many vendors handing out their goodies to any hand that reached towards them.  I had to laugh because in my larger days, I loved eating at Sam’s.  I would go to every vendor and try every delicacy.  I always went to Sam’s hungry and always left very full.  Sam’s was always my favorite shopping adventure.

Several years ago when all the kids were still at home, I used to buy everything in bulk at Sams.  I always bought the huge chocolate chip cookies combined with macadamia nut and white chocolate chips cookies.  The kids and John would eat the chocolate chip cookies and I would eat ALL the macadamia nut ones.  I used to buy the huge box of tortilla chips and the huge jar of salsa.  Salsa always kept things healthy.  I wanted to make sure that there was always something to snack  on at our house.  We loaded up the cart with frozen pizzas, huge boxes of Cheezits and various huge bags of snacks.  I remember the huge bag of pretzels.  It had to be at least 10 pounds of pretzels.  And you do know that pretzels are a health food!  The kids and I loved the buffalo wings – never for dinner – just a snack.  For years I always bought the large Turtle Cheesecake for our Christmas Eve dessert.  We always stocked that large bag of Gardetto snacks.  They were fat free.  So of course they were healthy.  The bagels at Sam’s were huge and one bagel probably could feed 3 people.  I devoured each one with a ton of the 10 pound brick of cream cheese I purchased.  The 1 pound blueberry muffins were to die for.  And who could eat just one.  And then we would get into the car and open up a box or a bag of snacks and enjoy our ride home.

But what I bought today was so totally different than what I used to purchase. I wish I had taken a picture of my cart today.  I had lean turkey breasts, tossed salad, grapes, apples, limes, clementines, Greek yogurt, bananas, olive oil and grape tomatoes.  I love stocking up on fresh fruits and vegetables.

I actually was hungry during my whole time shopping at Sams but successfully walked past every vendor.  I honestly did not even look at what they were serving.  I just knew that I would not be tasting anything.  I felt great that I was one of the thinner shoppers at Sams.  And when I was looking for clothes I was looking for a medium and a size 12.  Not a 2XL that I used to wear.  That was a great feeling.

So Sam’s Club I have figured you out.  I will always shop at your warehouse. But I will not succumb to my past habits.  Old habits die hard.  But thankfully, eating my way through Sam’s club habit is gone forever.

No Longer Livin Large

I hate shopping. I have said it before and I will say it again. I HATE SHOPPING!!!  It could be because in the past I could never find anything that fit me.  Or maybe it fit but did not look good on me. Because of this hating shopping attitude, I have no style. If something fit, I would buy three of the same pieces but in different colors.   I have the same style pants – in different colors.  My shirts are all the same style.  Just a different color.  I even have the same shoes – just in different colors.

But now that I am a slimmer person, I am finding I can wear different styles.  I can actually wear jeans. I can wear shirts that hug my body.  I can wear shirts tucked in.  But this has become very stressful for me. I have no idea what I like nor what looks good. I have nothing hanging in my closet. I have given all my larger than life clothes to Goodwill. I am starting out with a clean slate.

I have a good client of 13 years, Kathy Wunderlich ( I photograph her family every year for their holiday card). Kathy has been selling the Cabi clothing line for almost one year now.  And I have fallen in love. I love Cabi clothes. They are so comfortable. I bought 4 pieces in the spring that carried me through the summer.  And now I am buying my winter Wardrobe.

I had a Cabi party the other evening,  Cabi is a home trunk show designed by Carol Anderson.  Check out their clothing line here.  The best thing is the Consultants come to your home with the clothing line in tow.  You do not have to go to a store.  And these clothes are beautiful.  The newest thing with Cabi, you can order online.  I love it!  My favorite way to shop.

It was a very low key party with my daughter Maria, daughter in law Jackie and niece Rebecca attending.  Kathy brought the full fall line to my studio.   She has great style and knows the clothes line.  But the best thing about Kathy is that she is a very low key sales person.  But she really does not have to be pushy because the clothes sell themselves.

But wear do I start?  What do I try on first?  My fat mind was fearful that I would not fit into anything.  But Kathy guaranteed me that I would.  And she pulled out sizes that I have never seen in my whole life.  A size 10.  (I guarantee you that I am not a size 10 in regular store clothes).   Maria and Jackie were dressing me up like a Barbie doll (minus the big boobs and tiny waist).  They had me trying on things I would never think to ever wear.  Jeggins, shirts, jackets, and I am now getting overwhelmed just thinking out it.

But I needed a starting point.  So I started with pants. Now my pants have to feel comfortable. I have to be able to breath. But if I am able to breath then the legs are too big. But not with Cabi. They fit perfectly.  According to my daughter and daughter in law my jeans are too baggy. But at my age, don’t I deserve to be comfortable?  They both said that you have to lay down on your bed to zip up your pants.  Are you kidding me?  I guarantee you that I will never lay down on my bed to zip up my pants.

The best thing about having a home show with Cabi is you get 50% off of your purchase based on the sales of the show.  I was so excited when she told me that I got 6 pieces for 50% off.  I got my basics.  A pair of black knit pants, jeans, jeggins, a sweater coat and a running jacket.  I am still debating on what my 6th item should be.

And the best thing about Cabi is that I did not have to buy a large.  I actually fit into a medium. No more livin large for me.  It is now a medium world.

Garcinia Cambogia Saga Continues

I am a very impulsive person.  If I read something and it makes sense to me I will usually jump on the bandwagon and purchase it.  I do that a lot in our photography business.  If a new product comes out and I think it will work well and my customers will like it, I will invest in it.  Now I have been burned many times and have an overstock of many items.   But last Saturday morning when I was all alone on my computer, feeling fat, hearing Dr. Oz recommending Garcina Cambogia – my impulsivity got the better of me.

As you read in my last blog, I purchased the FREE trial of Garcinia Cambogia and Colon Cleanse and quickly returned them when I found out I would be charged $79 per product  if I did not return the bottles of pills within 14 days.  And I do fell really stupid.

But I have found there are other impulsive people too.  I am sure that is why companies like this one stay in business.  They throw out a hook and wait for impulsive people like me to be reeled in.  John and I were out to dinner with my son Paul and his wife Sarah to celebrate her birthday.  At the end of the dinner, I told them about my Garcinia Cambogia saga.  And Sarah blurts out that she did the exact same thing.  Now if you would meet Sarah your first thought would be – why on earth would she be purchasing a weight loss product.  She is absolutely beautiful and I think the perfect weight.  But obviously that crazy little voice in our head that says “You are not perfect” got the better of her.  And she too was on the computer and probably heard Dr. Oz say to get this product.  And she was reeled in.

The $79 charge showed up immediately on her charge card and she called and cancelled her FREE trial immediately.  They tried offering her deals to keep her money.  But Sarah is strong and she declined telling them “I am not comfortable with anything you have to offer.”  She never even got to try her FREE trial.

And then the next day I was telling my daughter about my Garcinia Cambogia ordeal.  And she shared with me that she did the same thing with Sensa.  That is that sugar like substance that you put on your food and it does something to your appetite.  Now why on earth would my daughter with the most beautiful body purchase such a thing?  She is at the perfect weight, in shape and a healthy eater.  What is it with these crazy weight loss product scams that turn us women into nonsensical people?  What is it in us that we are not accepting ourselves and turning to a quick fix?

So yesterday I went to GNC at Gravois Bluffs to see if they sold the product.  And yes they did.  And it was only $44 for 90 pills. That is almost 1/2 the price of my impulsive purchase and you do not have to pay for shipping.  And it was the real thing with no fillers.  I talked with the sales person and he was saying that this product was a great seller.  I kept asking if it worked.  And his response was “it is a great seller.”  I was tempted to buy it and try it but I resisted.

This is what I have decided.  I will save my money.  I will work out harder, count my Weight Watcher points and count my calories.  The next time I am so impulsive, I will wait 24 hours before jumping on the band wagon.

And with the money I saved on those silly little pills I bought a new pair of size 14 jeans, 3 size medium shirts and a new pair of running shoes. .  I will soon be in a size 12 jeans.  But only because of hard work and dedication to my weight loss journey.  Not because of a silly weight loss pill.

Shopping, Shopping, Shopping

Shopping, shopping, shopping. I hate it. I hate going into clothing stores. I go into panic mode. It happens every time I walk into a store. I walk in with great intentions. I know what I need. And then it hits me. I see rack after rack of clothes. Shirts, shorts, skirts, dresses, jackets, jeans, and I am hyperventilating right now just thinking about it.

And what size am I? I know I do not need to go into plus sizes anymore. Which is exciting. But sizes vary. A size 14 in one line has different measurements than another line. That means I have to try on every item. Ugh!!! This summer I bought 2 shirts that were exactly the same but different colors. I tried one on and purchased a second one in a different color. Guess what? When I went to wear the 2nd one it was too big. It was the same size as the one I tried on. Go figure.

When I was a plus size the selections were fewer. I new what I liked and if the item fit I would buy the same item in three different colors. But now that I do not need plus sizes the selections are overwhelming. And then the problem comes up. I am not at my goal weight yet. So when I try something on and it fits, the first thought that comes into my mind is “it is silly to buy this now when it will be too big for me in a few months”. So back on the rack it goes and I go home with nothing.

Another problem I have is that my waist is so much larger than the rest of me. As I have aged my fat cells have decided they like to settle in right at my waist. They do not like the rest of my body. Especially my legs. As a young woman (ages ago) my hips and thighs were my problem spots. Now it is my waist. How did that happen? My doctor told me it was hormones. Basically it is old hormones that have become best friends with my waist.

So when I go shopping I have to find an item with a big waist. And that is a challenge. If the waist fits, the legs are too big. If the legs fit I can’t zip up the pants. When I was a plus size I fixed the problem by wearing sweat suits. I had one in every color. And they were soooooo comfortable. But now I don’t want to wear sweat suits. I want to wear skinny jeans with boots. But the skinny jeans go on perfectly until the zipper and button and then I zip up and button up and then I can not breathe. Breathing is definitely over rated.

Which brings me back to my dilemma. I have to go shopping. And I hate shopping.
So I came up with a plan. I am going to go to just one store. I will give myself one hour. I will go to purchase one item only. Problem solved!

But what store should I go to???