Saying Goodbye

Goodbye 43.5 pounds.  I hope to never see you again.  It is time to say goodbye to our unhealthy relationship.  I know we were friends for most of my life.  For so many years we were very tight.  I do remember the good times that we had.  We laughed together and jiggled together.  We had such a great time eating junk food and never exercising.  I loved sitting on the couch with you and watching TV.  I especially loved going to the movies and eating that super large tub of buttered popcorn and a very large (of course) diet soda with you.  You were my best friend.  I was comfortable with you.

But you started to give me too much.  My clothes just kept getting tighter and tighter.  So I bought bigger and bigger clothes.   I took comfort with you being by my side 24-7.  I then realized that our relationship was very one sided.  You gave and I took.  I took too much from you.  And then I got high blood pressure and high cholesterol.  Medicine fixed that.   I was angry at you and I tried hard to still be your friend.

But then I was diagnosed with sleep apnea.  And you thought that mask was funny.  It wasn’t.  I hated it.  And I don’t like being laughed at.  So I had to say goodbye.  It has taken a very long time for me to break up our relationship.  Not only was I physically unhealthy, I was in an unhealthy relationship with you.  You are still trying to hang on.  But you will soon be totally out of my life.  So I am saying goodbye.  Along with high blood pressure and sleep apnea.  I will soon be rid of my cholesterol medicine.  Please leave me alone.  You are not healthy for me.  You can see in these photos how our relationship slowly dissolved.   And by the end of 2014 you will no longer be part of my life.  I know you will try hard to rekindle our relationship.  But I will not let you.  I am Saying Goodbye!

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Happy Birthday to Me

Today I am 62 years old.  I feel great.  I have lost almost 40 pounds this past year and physically I am getting fitter and fitter every day.  I feel the best I have felt in a very, very long time.  And it is going to be a great day.  It started out perfect with a beautiful Vera Bradley bag that my husband, John,  gave me.  I have wanted a Vera Bradley carry all bag for a very long time.  And when I came downstairs to have my coffee, a gift bag and card were waiting for me.  What a great day to start my day.  Now I have a beautiful bag to carry my work out clothes to work in.

He also said something that I loved hearing.  He said “you have given yourself the best birthday present of all.  You have lost a lot of weight”.   Yes I have.  Happy Birthday to me.  And I do like my gift the best.  I have given myself a new outlook on life and a healthier lifestyle.

I had my weigh in at Weight Watchers yesterday.  I lost 3.4 pounds.  I was very happy with that loss.  I decided that I was going to count calories and count my Weight Watcher points and see how calories and points compared.  My daughter, Maria, has been telling me for a long time that I have been eating too much fruit.  But Weight Watchers told my that 5 fruits per day is worked into the plan.  CONFUSION.  Jillian Michaels says that I should be eating 1200 calories a day.  My Fitness Pal says the same thing.   So I tried not eating so much fruit this week.  If I added 5 fruits to my Weight Watchers daily plan I would have been well over 2,000 calories.  And I know that 2,000 calories is too many for me.

So this past week, I limited my intake of fruits to one to three a day.

Here is the breakdown – and I am being completely honest.

Tuesday – is my starting day of the week.  Because that is my Weight Watcher weigh in day.  1153 Calories – 17 points – Exercise Run/Walk 36 minutes

Wednesday – 1071 Calories – 22 points – Exercise –  Jillian Michaels 20 Minute workout

Thursday – 1464 Calories – 23 points – Exercise – Walk/Run 52 minutes

Friday – 1636 Calories – 30 points – Exercise (Day of rest – Jillian says you need one day of rest)

Saturday – 1183 Calories – 26 points – Exercise – Walk/Run 34 minutes

Sunday – 1362 Calories – 32 points – Exercise – Walk/Run 48 minutes

Monday – 1,472 Calories – 28 points – Exercise Jillian Michaels 20 minute workout and a 5 minute Tabata 5.5 run.

I am not sure of the correlation here of points to calories.  But I am noticing that calories and points seem to be close.  On my lower caloric days I was eating one cup of berries.  And on the higher caloric days I was eating 1-2 cups of berries and 2-3 apples a day.  I am going to try this again this week and see how the points/calories compare.

So today I am going to have a great rest of the day.  I am playing hooky from work (the beauty of owning your own business).  John is cooking up some bacon (3 slices is 120 calories and 4 WW points).  I am going to go for my walk/run and a bike ride on the Katy Trail.  And then off to the wineries in Augusta, MO and will be enjoying this most beautiful fall day.

And for todayI know I will be well over my 1200 calories and my 26 points – but after all IT IS MY BIRTHDAY!

My Decision to Lose Weight

So as I posted yesterday, I was at my heaviest at 224 lbs.  That was several years ago.  I remember not caring what I ate.  And eat I did.  Then I would feel guilty for all that I was eating and would decide to diet.  I would always start my diet on Monday and by Wednesday, I would forget that I was suppose to be dieting.  But there was always another Monday, when I would attempt to diet again.  And this cycle went on for years.

I joined and rejoined Weight Watchers too many times to count.  I never lasted very long on the program.   And then I tried the South Beach Diet and lost several pounds.  I got down to 211.  South Beach was fairly easy as long as I never ate any bread, potatoes or pasta.

Then my rock hard, fitter than fit daughter, Maria, convinced me to start working out.  I was a couch potato and loved it.  Even though the word EXERCISE has 8 letters, it was definitely a 4 letter word to me.  Walking?  Didn’t Tim Russert die after walking on a treadmill?  That would really make me mad if I died after a work out.  But I knew my daughter was right.  I had to start getting my body in motion.

I found a trainer and worked my butt off 2-3 times a week.  I was tired after my workouts but I felt alive.   John and I also joined Gold’s Gym and I either swam every day or walked/run on the tread mill.  I continued on  a low carb diet and got down to 188.  I maintained that weight for two years.

Slowly but surely the weight started to creep back on.  I quit the trainer and we quit Gold’s Gym and the couch once again became my best friend.  My “thin” clothes were getting so tight that I had to I break out my “fat” clothes.   And I had plenty of “fat” clothes.  Thank God I kept them for a rainy fat day.  And boy did it rain.

Then that deciding moment in my life hit.  My grandson, who was a freshman last year at Eureka High School and the starting quarterback on the freshman football team, called me.  He said “Grandma, it is a custom for the football players to ask someone special to wear their jersey to the first game.  I would like you to wear mine.”  Oh my gosh!  I was so honored.  He brought me the jersey and when he left, I tried it on.  I could not get it on.  I sure tried.  I stretched it and prayed it would fit but there was no way his jersey in any way shape or form was going to fit me.  I sheepishly called him and said “Cameron, I am so honored that you asked me to wear your jersey, but I can’t get it on.”  He was so nice and understanding.  And I was ashamed.

I decided my time had come.  It was time in my life that I needed to do something about my weight.  So 1 year ago, on September 4th, 2012, I joined Weight Watchers for the last time in my life.  According to Weight Watcher’s scale I weighed 201.  On my scale (which I like a whole lot better) I weighed 199.

And this is where my journey begins.

To be continued….